on being alone in a crowd...

                 
                                    Jeanne Michele Loveridge (nee Greenwood) 1949_2013


Lennon and McCartney had a hit (1966) with Eleanor Rigby:........
"All the lonely people, where do they all come from?  All the lonely people where do they all belong?"
At some point in our lives those lonely people are you and me.

In April this year Michele, my wife of 42 years, was taken from me having suffered a massive multiple stroke. She went into a coma and never recovered, which in a way was a blessing considering the damage that the stroke caused. This Christmas will the first without her being there, and i miss her.
That trite hollywood:"You complete me...." has more that a ring of truth in it. We were soul mates, there will never be another like her. But this is not about me. It's about all of those lonely people who are very vunerable at this time of year.

The Christmas Season is supposedly one of joy and good cheer and we think that because we are surrounded by friends, family, aquaintences  that we should be happy. But this is the season of abject misery and loneliness for some, which the rise in suicide and family murders can attest to.

There are only two references to "loneliness" in the bible. the first being Ps 68 v 5 and 6. "Father of the fatherless and protector of widows is God in his holy habitation. God settles the solitary in a home: he leads out the prisoners to prosperity." and the second Lk 5 v 16 where speaking of Jesus he says: "But he would withdraw to desolate places and pray."
In all of the bible just these two references and they reference "loneliness" and the act of being "alone". Two words with a very subtle difference in meaning. The first (loneliness) suggests being alone, although surrounded by people, because we feel alienated and not wanted. We feel disconnected and not part of humanity, it's "us" and"them". A dangerous place to be, particularly when everyone else is perceived to be having fun. The second (alone) suggests a deliberate act of withdrawal, to enact a particular task. Jesus would often withdraw to a high place to be alone to pray. In Mt 6 v6 we read Jesus' instruction:"But when you pray, go into your room and shut the door and pray to your Father who is in secret. And your Father who is in secret will reward you". Praying is a personal thing between you and God.

I am very comfortable with myself and would often (much to Michele's chagrin) retire to a darkened room to be alone with my thoughts. I can very easily get "lost" with  a camera or in playing my bass. Soaking ( the christian word for meditation ) is best done where it is quiet and you can "withdraw from the world around you".

But we are a communal species, we were designed to congregate and be together. Things happen when we join a group, suddenly we "belong". Most of our sporting activities are communal team efforts and are avidly watched by huge audiences. Think world rugby and what it meant for this country when Nelson Mandela came onto the pitch wearing a Springbok jersey.
Your local church is a great place to start when you feel that you need some fellowship and support. Afterall God is a communal being: being Father Son and Holy Spirit, the Three in one and the One in Three.
So this Christmas think about what it really means, and set an extra place for that unexpected guest. Make sure that all of your relations are well cared for and loved, and not left in some home where they are with "others of their own age and predicament".
If we could capture the essence of Jesus' message in one word it would be LOVE.